Suspicion confirmed: We need shorter Levi’s

I once wrote a column in which I confessed that I have short legs. My 34-30 Levi’s bunch up a little at the ankles, but at least they don’t require tailoring.

Being short-legged, I am an avid observer of other men’s legs, and I’ve realized over the years that I am far from the most dachshundian of men. Thousands, millions of American men have shorter legs than I. I especially notice the fellows of Asian and Latin descent, good-looking fellows who have topped out at 5-4 or 5-6, and whose legs would probably appreciate a 26- or 28-inch pant.

I’ve also noticed that a lot of guys wearing 32 or 34-inch legs are faking it. They want to be taller than they are, which is clear from the way their jeans accordion at the ankles like 1980s leg warmers.

Today I was thrift store shopping and spotted a nice pair of 34-30 Levi’s, but when I took them to the fitting room, they came about halfway down my shin. Proof positive that mean are forced to tailor their jeans because they can’t find any that fit!

So what’s the deal with Levi’s, and every other pants-maker, never offering anything shorter than a 30-inch inseam? It’s discrimination, man, and I’m sick and tired of it!

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